i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
