Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it glows. i had to have it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
