woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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