I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
