Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
