i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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