every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize