He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize