I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I did not marry a roomba.
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