Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
