why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
organizing the empties. That sober.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
