we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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