I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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