walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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