if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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