I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
