Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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