So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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