can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
