this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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