Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
