shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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