his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
