I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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