I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
