I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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