Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
