And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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