So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
