your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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