dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
