taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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