and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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