Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
