What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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