i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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