i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
