it's like heaven, but drunker
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
