I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
