for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
