he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize