After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize