Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
