He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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