Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
