the day after is always just damage control
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A+ Viking dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
