Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
