man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
