i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
