dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
