I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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