with your own penis?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
