The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
