I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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