sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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