I wish I only lived at night.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
