You're completely useless in the revolution.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
